Robert (Bob, Agent of Hydra)

BobFinally, Deadpool has been released in theatres…and it’s a blast. Apparently, there are some elements that Fox wasn’t supposed to use due to licence contracts with Marvel, but that ended up in the movie nevertheless, such as the Helicarrier that serves as the battleground for the final cliffhanger…and Bob, Agent of Hydra, the most unlucky sidekick ever, portrayed in the film by Rob Hayter. When Deadpool is fighting Ajax‘s henchmen, he recognizes one of them as Bob, and spares him, only to knock him out with a headbutt the moment they start talking friendly. This is quite a cool easter egg for the comics readers, as Bob is one of the most loved recurring characters in the comics series…even if obviously his original allegiance couldn’t be mentioned in the movie for rights issues. Let’s see together.

Robert, surname unknown, lived an absolutely normal life: he had a normal childhood, he grew up to be a normal teenager, and then a normal young man. He married his high-school girlfriend, Allison, and had two children from her, Terry and Howie. As many other normal men, however, Bob was unemployed, and Allison didn’t lose a single opportunity to remark it, making him feel guilty for not being able to keep a steady job, and thus not being able to take care of his family. Eventually, Allison managed to talk her husband into joining the criminal organization known as Hydra, convincing him with the perspective of earning $40,000 per year, and of having a full dental plan (the latter proved to be false: it was A.I.M. which provided dental care for its agents, not Hydra). While he was serving under Hydra, his fellow agents managed to capture a spy, Agent X, infiltrated in the organization on a pharmaceutical company’s account; unfortunately for the agents, the mercenary Deadpool was hired to save him. In order to infiltrate the Hydra base, Deadpool used the Pym Particles to shrink, but being three-inches-tall didn’t bobcomics1prevent him from disposing of most of the Hydra agents…apart from Bob. The poor, cowardly man was taken alive by Deadpool, who wanted to force him to help him save Agent X; at first, Bob refused (not out of loyalty, but because he knew that if he helped the mercenary Hydra would have fired him), but after being tortured with a security card he accepted to help Deadpool. On the way to Agent X’s cell, it turned out Deadpool regularly read Bob’s blog…not that this prevented him from hurting the poor man just for fun. Bob pointed the mercenary to where Agent X was held prisoner, and also helped the two of them escape from the facility; just before leaving, Deadpool shot him, so that Bob could claim to have being held at gunpoint, and allowed back to Hydra again. Before he could even be grateful for it, Deadpool changed his mind again and kidnapped Bob, forcing him to pilot the jet he and Agent X used to escape. Back to Agency X, the two mercenaries found out Outlaw and Sandi had been kidnapped…and they forced Bob to help them find them: from that moment, Bob entered Agency X as a honorary member.

More than a teammate, a friend or even a prisoner, Bob was regarded by Deadpool as little more than a pet, and considered by the other members of Agency X as “Deadpool’s minion”. Despite the mercenary referred to Bob’s kidnapping as to his “saving”, he forced him to follow him in every subsequent mission or adventure: when Weasel was captured by Hydra, and Wolverine attacked the very base Weasel was held into, Deadpool rushed there, fearing that the berserker mutant would have killed his friend; he also dragged along Bob, with the secret intention of trading him with Weasel if necessity required it (not that Bob was informed of this contingency plan). Things went quite smoothly…at least for Weasel, as Deadpool was the one who found himself on the path of a feral Wolverine, and got decapitated. When everything was over, Bob reached for his “friend”, grabbed his head, reattached it to his torso and waited for his healing factor to work. After killing most of his ex-coworkers, Bob helped Weasel send the few remaining ones to prison with teleportation technology, but when Weasel used the same to make Bob and Deadpool back home, it malfunctioned, sending the two men back in time, during World War II: there, they were involved by Captain America and Bucky in a mission to defeat Arnim Zola. The mission succeeded, but the two bobcomics2unwilling heroes were still stranded in time…until they were reached by Doctor Strange, who needed their help for mending the damage created to several realities by T-Ray, Deadpool’s former nemesis, whose meddling with magic was causing quite some troubles. Of course, Bob didn’t have much of a choice, and followed Deadpool through various dimensions, until T-Ray’s body was reunited with his soul, thus preventing him from performing any more magic. Back on Earth, Bob was immediately involved in another one of Deadpool’s brilliant ideas, as the latter wanted to teleport some dinosaurs from the Savage Land to Genosha as a “prank” to Magneto; something went wrong, and the dinos appeared in the middle of Manhattan, where they merged with the Symbiotes and became uncontrollable. Facing those monsters, Bob tried to escape, and his clumsiness ended up killing one of the dinosaurs…just when a tv crew was watching. Mistaking his actions, the crew interviewed him, and Bob claimed the “H” on his costume stood for “hero”. Now, to the eyes of the world (and of Allison, who was watching the news), Bob was a national hero…of course, until Deadpool ruined everything again.

Bob is, in everything, a normal guy, with average (or even below avarage) intellectual and physical attributes. Even as an agent of Hydra he didn’t gain any particular skill, but one: being first in his stealth class, he’s extremely good in running away from danger, able to perfectly hide his presence if he only hears the distinctive “snikt” of Wolverine’s claws, or someone names Captain America or Elektra. Even Hydra’s brainwash didn’t have much of an effect on him, and despite he still wears their uniform and shouts slogans such as “Heil Hydra!” or “Cut off one head and two more will take its place!” whenever he’s nervous, he doesn’t feel any loyalty towards the organization. Bob’s only “superpower” is his unbelievable luck, the only thing that made him survive his time and dimensional travels, his encounter with superheroes and supervillains, his battles with Symbiote-possessed dinosaurs…and obviously the uncountable abuses and brutality from Deadpool.

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