Whiz Wilson

Going on with the teachers from Midtown School of Science and Technology appeared in Spider-Man: Homecoming we meet Coach Wilson, portrayed by Hannibal Buress. His presence is quite an Easter egg, as Coach Whiz Wilson is a long-forgotten character, a 1950s secondary one from the romantic series Meet Miss Bliss. In the comics he was Caucasian rather than African-American as in the movie, and he had a little bit more enthusiasm for his work than Buress’ version… albeit the I.Q. was more or less the same. Let’s see together.

The man known as “Whiz” Wilson was born in Centerville, California, a small town as American as an apple pie. A tall and muscular guy, Wilson was the best athlete around, a show-off who spent his time bragging about his physique and trying to hit on pretty much every girl he saw. As an adult (as much as “adult” could fit a guy like him), Wilson was hired as the school coach in Centerville Junior High, a job he took very seriously… as an incredible opportunity to seduce the pretty teachers who were already working there. Not only a jock but also a jerk, Wilson didn’t actually have much success with his colleagues, with the only one having a crush on him being Mary Meek, the school’s nurse… the one lady he didn’t even see, with her short size and her thick glasses, so he didn’t even realize she was after him. Inevitably, he was rejected over and over again… but he still believed to be God’s gift to women, with his unshakable arrogance untouched by the refusal of women he deemed too shy to accept his invitation.

Wilson’s attitude changed (slightly) when a new teacher arrived to school, meaning that instead of hitting on every girl, he finally focused on one: Betty Bliss, newly hired at Centerville Junior High. As pretty much every other male teacher in the school, Whiz Wilson developed a crush on the cute blonde teacher, and he immediately imposed himself as the most daring (and intrusive) among his suitors. In the meanwhile, however, Bliss had become good friends with Mary Meek of all people, so she wanted to help the nurse to get noticed by the mindless hunk who was the center of her affection. When Miss Bliss came to him speaking about “knowing the perfect girl for him” and “date”, Whiz Wilson jumped to hasty conclusions, and deduced that his incredible charm had won once again (?): he “accepted” Bliss’ invitation, and he told her he would have picked her up that night at seven, ignoring the teacher’s protests. Despite everything, Bliss actually went with him to the restaurant, but once there Whiz did nothing but speak about himself and about how good a choice he was for Betty: if she even had the slightest interest in him, and she hadn’t from the very beginning, he knew far too well how to make it vanish in a matter of a single date…

Whiz Wilson is a boastful and arrogant man, a coach so full of himself that he can’t see beyond his own biceps. Athletic, agile and strong, he’s however pretty dumb, and all his charm vanishes the moment he opens his mouth and proves there’s plain nothingness behind his appearance. With very little self-awareness, Wilson still believes to be what women dream about… and he can’t explain to himself why said women seemingly don’t want to fulfill their dreams.


1 Comment

  1. […] the homecoming, but he gets rejected live on tv. He’s later seen in the gym as well during Coach Wilson‘s class, and again on tv while he’s commenting on the Spider-Man mania spreading […]

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